Goodbye at Suvarnabhumi: the last wave to Thai family

Everybody comes. That’s the first thing. You said they didn’t have to, and they came anyway: Yai, your aunt who drove, an uncle who mostly handles the trolley, a cousin filming for the family LINE group. Someone has brought food for the plane, which you will not be allowed to take through security, and which you will eat in the car park in the dark.

Then it’s the departures hall, the queue, the bags, the last coffee. And then the moment every luk khrueng knows, whatever your family’s version of it is: the escalator, the doors to passport control, the line on the floor that only passengers cross. You go one way. They stay. And Yai keeps waving until there’s no possible way she can still see you, and then she waves a bit more.

Thai has a word for that drop in your chest: ใจหาย (jai haai), “the heart disappears”. It’s the word for a near miss on the road, and for the quiet moment when the holiday ends and it’s time to say goodbye to Yai. It’s that one.

Why it’s so hard

Because it isn’t the end of a holiday. It’s leaving one of your lives and going back to the other, and nobody at home quite sees what you’ve left behind. Because the grandparents are a year older each time, and you’ve started counting, even though you’d never say it out loud. Because you spent two weeks being the หลาน (laan), the grandchild everyone fussed over, and on the plane you’re just seat 43K.

If the days after are strange, that’s normal too. We wrote about it in life between two homes: the re-entry, the “where’s home?”, the way both lives are yours.

What to say

You don’t need a speech. Families don’t want one. Two or three lines, said while you’re holding someone’s hands, are more than enough. Here they are, from the end of the Visiting Thailand moment in Reply Thai.

The thank-you, which matters more than any present you brought:

ขอบคุณที่ดูแลหลานนะ

khorp khun thii duu lae laan na

ขอบคุณที่ดูแลหลานนะครับ

khorp khun thii duu lae laan na khrap

ขอบคุณที่ดูแลหลานนะคะ

khorp khun thii duu lae laan na kha

Who is speaking?

ครับ said by a manค่ะ said by a woman

Draft: waiting for a native speaker’s review.

The promise, which is the thing Yai actually wants to hear: แล้วจะกลับมาอีกนะ (laew ja glap maa iik na), “I’ll come back again”.

The care, said the way she’s said it to you a hundred times: รักษาสุขภาพนะ (rak-saa suk-kha-phaap na), “look after your health”.

And the simple one, if your voice isn’t working:

รักยายนะ

rak yaai na

รักยายนะครับ

rak yaai na khrap

รักยายนะคะ

rak yaai na kha

Who is speaking?

ครับ said by a manค่ะ said by a woman

Draft: waiting for a native speaker’s review.

What you’ll hear back: เดินทางปลอดภัยนะ (dern thaang plort phai na), “have a safe trip”, and almost certainly อย่าลืมกลับมาหายายอีกนะ, “don’t forget to come back and see me”. And someone will say ถึงแล้วโทรบอกด้วยนะ (thueng laew thoh bork duai na), “call me when you get home”. Do it. The first message after landing, ถึงแล้ว (thueng laew), “I’m home now”, is read by the whole family group within minutes.

And then the line that turns a goodbye into a plan:

อาทิตย์หน้าโทรหาใหม่นะ

aa-thit naa thoh haa mai na

อาทิตย์หน้าโทรหาใหม่นะครับ

aa-thit naa thoh haa mai na khrap

อาทิตย์หน้าโทรหาใหม่นะคะ

aa-thit naa thoh haa mai na kha

Who is speaking?

ครับ said by a manค่ะ said by a woman

Draft: waiting for a native speaker’s review.

The practical bits, so the goodbye can be just a goodbye

Do the admin the night before, so the last hour is for family:

• Check in online if your airline allows it, and check its own advice on when to be at the airport; leave extra time for Bangkok traffic, which has never once cared about your flight. Getting there is covered in getting around Bangkok.
• Leave on the passport you came in on. If you hold two, Thai embassy pages say to use the same passport to enter and leave Thailand. Details in which passport to use for Thailand.
• Automated lanes. Thai passport holders have used Suvarnabhumi’s automated departure lanes since 2012, and foreign e-passport holders since 15 December 2023, according to Khaosod English.
• VAT refund, if you’re a tourist. The Revenue Department’s conditions exclude people who live in Thailand, need at least 2,000 baht per shop per day, and ask you to show goods of 20,000 baht or more to Customs before check-in. That last step takes time, so do it before the family goodbye, not after.
• The food. Liquids and many sauces won’t make it through security. Eat the snacks in the car. Pack the sealed chilli paste in the checked bag, and check your destination country’s rules on bringing food in.
• Agree on the goodbye spot. Like the arrival, it helps to decide where everyone stops. Then nobody has to work it out through tears.

After the doors

You will probably cry somewhere between passport control and the gate. Plenty of us do. It’s not a failure of adulthood; it’s what love looks like at an airport.

Then, on the plane, you start counting to the next time. And in between there’s the Sunday call, which is where the Thai you practised this trip keeps living. Our video call with Yai page has the phrases for that.

Practise the goodbye before you need it

The Visiting Thailand moment in Reply Thai ends at the airport: the thank-you, the promise and the “look after your health”, practised as replies so they come out even when your voice doesn’t want to.

Reply Thai for iPhone: coming soonEmail me at launch

Thai words on this page are a draft until a native speaker has reviewed them.