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The Thai wai: what it means and how to wai your family

By lukkrueng.com editorsLast checked Published

A half-Thai teenager gives her Thai grandparents a wai on the porch, palms together and head bowed; her grandmother returns it.

The car pulls up at Yai’s house, the door opens, and before anyone says a word, every hand in the family goes up. Palms together, heads dipped. You copy a beat late and hope nobody noticed. They noticed, and they loved it.

That gesture is the wai. Here’s what it means, how to do it for your family, and the small rules about who goes first that nobody ever quite explains.

What is the wai?

The wai, ไหว้ (wai), is the Thai greeting where you press your palms together, as if in prayer, and bow your head a little. Wikipedia’s article on the gesture links it to the Indian añjali mudrā, the same family of gestures as namaste.

What the wai means depends on the moment. The same gesture can say:

  • Hello and goodbye. It traditionally goes with arriving at someone’s house, and the guest repeats it when asking to leave.
  • Thank you. Wikipedia notes the wai is common “as a way to express gratitude”.
  • Sorry. It often comes with an apology too.
  • Respect, before taking something. The Thai Wikipedia article on the wai says a younger person wais before accepting something from an elder, which in a family can be anything from money to a plate of food.

The one thread through all of these is respect. And the amount of respect shows in two places: how high your hands go, and how low your head comes.

How do you wai?

The steps are in How to wai an elder in your family at the end of this guide. The part people get stuck on is the height. Thai Wikipedia sets out three levels from Thailand’s Department of Cultural Promotion, under the Ministry of Culture, and a 2022 Thairath guide (citing the Ministry’s Department of Religious Affairs) describes the same three:

Who you’re greeting Where your hands go Who wais first
Parents, grandparents, aunties, uncles, teachers Thumbs at the tip of your nose, index fingers between your eyebrows You do
People your own age Thumbs at your chin, index fingers at your nose, a slight bow Either, often at the same time
A younger cousin or a child who wais you Return it lower, around your chest They do

The highest level, thumbs between your eyebrows, is for the Buddha and monks. If you’re at the temple, or you’ll be asked to กราบ (graap), the full bow to the floor, our Thai temple etiquette guide covers that.

A few details that help in real life:

  • If Yai is sitting and you’re standing, stoop or bow your head a little more as you wai. Mahidol University’s Siriraj guide mentions exactly this.
  • Keep it calm. A wai isn’t a quick salute. Hands up, a breath, hands down.
  • Don’t panic about the exact height. The levels are a guide, not a test. Copy what your mum does with her own mum, and you’ll be in the right place.

Who do you wai first?

The younger, or more junior, person wais first. Mahidol University’s guide puts it simply: “the person who is junior in age or status is the first one to offer the wai”, and the senior person returns it, generally with their hands around their chest.

In a family, that turns into a fairly easy order:

  • You wai your grandparents, parents, aunties and uncles first.
  • Your little cousins wai you first, and you return it.
  • With cousins your own age, a wai is often skipped in daily life. When you do, Thairath notes that equals raise their hands at about the same time.

Age is the main ruler here, which can be confusing if your family uses kinship words in a way that doesn’t match age. An aunt who is younger than you can still be your aunt. Our guide to Thai family words helps untangle who’s who; when in doubt, wai.

How do you say hello and thank you with a wai?

The wai almost never comes alone. Most of the time it comes with sa-wat-dii:

สวัสดีครับ

sa-wat-dii khrap

สวัสดีครับ

sa-wat-dii khrap

สวัสดีค่ะ

sa-wat-dii kha

Hello. (polite, to an elder)

Literally: “hello (polite ending)”

With elders and people you’ve just met, the ครับ/ค่ะ and a wai carry the respect.

Draft: waiting for a native speaker’s review.

The polite ending (ครับ or ค่ะ) plus the wai is what carries the respect. More on greetings, including what to say to cousins, is in how to say hello in Thai.

For thanks, the same gesture works with ขอบคุณ:

ขอบคุณ

khorp khun

ขอบคุณครับ

khorp khun khrap

ขอบคุณค่ะ

khorp khun kha

Thank you.

Add the kin word and it’s personal: ขอบคุณค่ะย่า, ขอบคุณครับย่า. With elders, keep ครับ/ค่ะ.

Draft: waiting for a native speaker’s review.

A wai with your thank-you to an elder who gave you something is a very Thai moment, and you’ll see it at every family gathering. The full guide to thank you in Thai has more ways to say it. If someone wais you to say thanks, PickupThai suggests the easy reply: ไม่เป็นไร (mai pen rai), “no problem”.

And for an apology that matters, a wai with ขอโทษ (khor thot) says you mean it.

Do you have to return a wai?

If someone wais you as a sign of respect, yes: return it. Wikipedia says a wai offered this way should always be returned, and that if your hands are full you should still make an effort, as well as you can. A nod with your hands half up over the shopping bags counts.

You return it lower than they gave it. When a younger cousin wais you, your hands come up to around your chest, with a smile.

When don’t you wai?

This is the part that surprises people who grew up with “be polite to everyone”. In Thai custom, the wai goes up: PickupThai explains that Thais usually don’t wai people who are younger or junior to them, though returning a wai is normal. So:

  • Children. Don’t wai a child first. Let them wai you, then return it with a smile.
  • Shop staff. When a cashier wais you as part of the job, Wikipedia notes these are generally answered “with a smile or a nod”, and PickupThai agrees a nod is enough. You don’t need to wai back.
  • On the phone. Nobody can see it. A warm voice does the job.

In a family, none of this gets complicated: when a grandchild wais, the grandparents return it, usually with obvious delight.

How do you teach kids to wai?

There’s no official method here, just family habit, so take this as one gentle way among many. Some parents simply do it alongside their child: fold a toddler’s hands together, say the words, and let the child copy long before they can say them back. This is a line for a video call with great-grandma:

ไหว้ทวดสิลูก

wai thuat si luuk

Wai to great-grandma, sweetie.

Literally: “wai great-grandma si child”

To your baby, your yai is ทวด, great-grandma. Many families add the side: ยายทวด or ย่าทวด. Fold the little hands together for the camera.

Draft: waiting for a native speaker’s review.

To your baby, your own yai is ทวด (thuat), great-grandma. Little ones’ wais are wobbly and adorable, and that’s fine: the habit can come first and the height later. If you’re raising kids with two languages, our guide to raising bilingual Thai kids has more small routines like this.

What if I get it wrong?

Then you’ll be in very good company. Hands a bit low, a wai to the wrong cousin first, a wai to the waiter: none of it is a disaster. What people see is that you tried to show respect, and that is the whole meaning of the gesture anyway.

The big family days are where you’ll wai most: arrivals, goodbyes, blessings from elders, and quieter days too, when a wai says what words can’t.

When someone waves off your apology with mai pen rai, here’s what they mean: mai pen rai and kreng jai, explained.

Practise the big family days

The Big family days moment in Reply Thai, coming soon to iPhone, walks through the hellos, thank-yous and blessings that go with those wais, as short replies you can say out loud before the day.

Reply Thai for iPhoneComing soon

For the short version, see ไหว้ in the glossary.

Thai words on this page are a draft until a native speaker has reviewed them.

How to wai an elder in your family

  1. Stop and face them. Pause what you're doing, put down what you can, and turn to the person you're greeting. A wai is a small moment of full attention.
  2. Palms together at your chest. Press your palms together, fingers pointing up, close to your chest, as if in prayer.
  3. Raise your hands to the right height. For parents, grandparents, elders and teachers, lift your joined hands so your thumbs touch the tip of your nose and your index fingers sit between your eyebrows. For people your own age, thumbs at your chin is enough.
  4. Bow your head a little. Lower your head slightly to meet your hands. The higher the hands and the lower the bow, the more respect it shows.
  5. Say the words, then lower your hands. Say sa-wat-dii khrap or sa-wat-dii kha (or khorp khun to say thank you), add their family word if you like, then let your hands come down and smile.

Questions people ask

What does the wai mean in Thai culture?

The wai (ไหว้) is palms pressed together with a slight bow. It is a greeting and a goodbye, and it also says thank you or sorry. How high the hands go and how low the head bows shows how much respect you're giving.

Who should wai first?

The person who is younger or junior wais first. In a family that means grandchildren wai grandparents, and nieces and nephews wai aunties and uncles. The older person then returns the wai, usually with their hands lower, around the chest.

How high should your hands be when you wai?

Thailand's Department of Cultural Promotion describes three heights. For the Buddha and monks, thumbs between the eyebrows. For parents, grandparents, elders and teachers, thumbs at the tip of the nose. For people your own age, thumbs at the chin.

Do you have to return a wai?

A wai offered to you as respect should be returned, even if your hands are full: do the best you can. A senior person usually returns it lower, around the chest. When shop staff wai you as part of their job, a smile or a nod is the usual reply.

Should you wai a child or a waiter?

Usually not first. Thais don't normally wai people who are younger or junior to them, so let the child wai first and then return it. Staff who wai you at work are usually answered with a smile or a nod rather than a wai.

Sources

All links read on .

  1. Wikipedia: Wai (gesture) (page checked 14 Oct 2026)
  2. Thai Wikipedia: the wai, with the Department of Cultural Promotion's three levels (page checked 14 Oct 2026)
  3. Thairath: the meaning of the wai and the krap, level by level (Thai, 26 July 2022)
  4. Faculty of Medicine Siriraj Hospital, Mahidol University: Thailand Information (30 December 2016)
  5. PickupThai: When do Thais wai? Who should I and should I not wai? (page checked 14 Oct 2026)

In the glossary: ไหว้ (wai)

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